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To revise the thesis, the relationship between the two ideas needs to become more clear. A thesis statement should show exactly what your paper will be about, and will help you keep your paper to a manageable topic.Bad news first: You won’t get an A for a writing assignment if it doesn’t have a thesis statement.Almost all of us—even if we don’t do it consciously—look early in an essay for a one- or two-sentence condensation of the argument or analysis that is to follow.
” When you started thinking about the paper, you may not have had a specific question in mind, but as you became more involved in the topic, your ideas became more specific.
Your thesis changed to reflect your new insights.[Back to top]Remember that your thesis needs to show your conclusions about a subject.
You revise your thesis statement to look like this: Because half of all American elementary school children consume nine times the recommended daily allowance of sugar, schools should be required to replace the beverages in soda machines with healthy alternatives.
Notice how the thesis answers the question, “What should be done to reduce sugar consumption by children, and who should do it?
This is a strong thesis because it shows how your experience contradicts a widely-accepted view.
A good strategy for creating a strong thesis is to show that the topic is controversial.
Your thesis should indicate the point of the discussion.
If your assignment is to write a paper on kinship systems, using your own family as an example, you might come up with either of these two thesis statements: While most American families would view consanguineal marriage as a threat to the nuclear family structure, many Iranian families, like my own, believe that these marriages help reinforce kinship ties in an extended family.
Let’s say that your class focuses upon the problems posed by changes in the dietary habits of Americans.
You find that you are interested in the amount of sugar Americans consume.